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Insomnia Helmet

If you can't sleep, then all you need to do is to slip on your patented Massaging and Combing Helmet for Insomnia, and you'll be drifting off again in no time.

Image of Insomnia Helmet. Image of Insomnia Helmet.

The patent application explains that "Because head massage induces warm and contented feelings, it is an effective relaxation promoter. Because it is relaxing, it is also effective against insomnia... Most insomniacs, however, do not have access to nightly head massage by another person."

While this is all no doubt true, getting up and putting on a big, heavy device that looks like a torture implement doesn't seem like the ideal way to help you drop off again. The helmet "contains an endless belt which rubs the wearer's head with belt areas of various textures... The belt surface, of soft plastic, has both an embossed area to mimic the human hand, and another area with rows of upright plastic fingers which comb the hair."


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