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Electric Underwear

Did you know that you could have "thousands of volts of electrostatic charge" in your underwear right now? Don't worry though, because help is at hand with the patented Undergarments Protecting Against Electrostatic Field Induced Tissue Degradation!

While this all looks horrendously complicated, apparently it's essential because "modern synthetic materials commonly used in clothing and other articles in the U.S., for example nylon panties rubbing against a polyester skirt, or polyester underpants rubbing against wool pants, can easily generate thousands of volts of electrostatic charge that produces strong electrostatic fields."

And if that isn't enough to make you take the problem of seriously, you should remember the case of a man in England who used "electric underpants" to fake a heart attack. The man had asked for £300,000 in compensation after claiming that an iron had given him an electric shock which induced a heart attack. The defense claimed that he'd deliberately interfered with the iron so that it was "liable to give anyone who touched it an electric shock", and then used a device to interfere with the results of an electrocardiagram so that it appeared that he had suffered a heart attack. Dismissing the claim, the judge in the case said "they say it was hidden in his underpants and that the claimant referred to this device as his 'electric underpants'." (see http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2005/jul/05/davidward)

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