Weird & Wonderful Inventions
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Combined Suitcase and Bullet-Proof Vest

If you're unexpectedly caught in a gun battle and don't have your bullet-proof vest with you, then you need the patented Suitcase Convertible to Vest. All you have to do is to take your suitcase (which doesn't look like it would be much use as a suitcase because it's open at the top and only has buckles at the sides, so everything would fall out), undo the buckles on one side, and slip it on.

Image of a Suitcase Convertible to Vest. Image of a Suitcase Convertible to Vest.

The patent does say that the suitcase could also be made from a non-bullet-proof material. What it doesn't explain is why, if that were the case, you would ever want to put it on.

If you're looking for something more formal though, then you could try the Bulletproof Dress Shirt.

Image of a Bulletproof Dress Shirt.

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Full Body Teleportation System