Weird and Wonderful Inventions

We've all wanted to be able to walk through walls and other solid objects at some point in time. Well, now you can learn how, by using the method described in the patent application for the Walking Through Walls Training System.

If you're on the beach or by the pool, you'll need to have your sunscreen with you, but won't necessarily want to have to carry the bottle around. With the patented Sunglasses Incorporating a Fluid Sunscreen Dispenser, you can always have your sunscreen available without having to carry anything.

Many people go to great lengths to improve their appearance. Now, using the patented Buttocks Support Device, you can make sure that you look as good from the back as you do from the front.

If you want modesty and comfort, you might choose a regular swimsuit. If you're more concerned with an all-over tan, you might choose a thong. But what if you want both - an all-over tan, but a little more privacy when you need it? Well, you could use the patented Swimsuit Converter. This device includes a number of hooks which attach to a regular swimsuit and convert it into a thong, so you can switch quickly and easily between the two.

Most of us try hard to avoid getting sunburn. We may be missing out on the opportunity for some unique body decoration though. The patented Article of Clothing for Making a Patterned Sunburn uses transparent sections to allow a specific pattern to become sunburned, in order to create a kind of temporary tattoo.

People have always wanted to be able to communicate better with animals. Now, a limited form of communication with dolphins and other marine mammals may be possible with the patented Marine Mammal Communication Device. Instead of simply being trained to respond to commands which are generally given via hand gestures, dolphins could use what's effectively a giant keyboard to communicate in the other direction.

Another approach to preventing robberies is to tranquilize the criminal. There are various inventions for devices which can be built into a bank counter and spray gases or liquids at a criminal. However, we really like the patented Tranquilizer Ejector for Disabling Robbers, which shoots tranquilizer darts at the thief as they're making their escape.

So much effort is put into identifying criminals - DNA tests, polygraphs, fingerprints, and much more. Wouldn't it be great if there were a simpler way though? Perhaps something as simple as just looking at a picture and determining from that whether a person is a criminal.

For as long as bank robbers have existed, people have been looking for ways to stop them. You can try to make a bank so secure that nobody will ever attempt to rob it, or look for ways to track them down and apprehend them afterwards. However, the best option is to catch them in the act, and prevent them from making their escape.

If you thought swimwear was just designed to make you look good, you should think again. Now, with the patent application for Swimwear as an Information Device, you can also use it to communicate with others.

If you're being shot at but don't have a bullet-proof vest with you, just whip out your bullet-proof suitcase and put it on!

If you're running late and need to get somewhere in a hurry, just jump into your Full Body Teleportation System and you'll be there in a flash!

If you can't decide whether you want to play golf or frisbee, why not play both at the same time?

If you're tired of carrying your computer around all the time, there's an alternative - wear it instead!

If you have lots of infants to take care of, you need a Child Carrying Apron to help you manage them all at once.

When you're tense and can't relax, you need to put on your Massage Helmet to help you unwind.

If you can't sleep, then all you need to do is to slip on your Insomnia Helmet, and you'll be drifting off again in no time.

Sometimes when you're out and about you wish you had a chair to sit on or a table to write on. Well, that would never be a problem if you wore your own table and chair.

So you're out on the town, you get lucky, you need a condom, but you don't have one. Well, that problem would never arise if you always wore Condom Pocket Underwear.

If you're out playing golf and desperately need to go to the bathroom, what do you do? Now, instead of looking for a secluded tree or bush to hide behind, you can just go into your golf club!

If you're so attached to your pet that you can't bear to go anywhere without it but don't want to have to carry it all the time, here's the solution - wear it!

If you ever get bored while going to the toilet, then the patented Amusement Device for a Toilet Bowl or Urinal is just the thing for you. If you combined this with a Urinal Drink Coaster, then you might never want to leave.

If you're trying to give up smoking, then you should forget nicotine patches, gum or other everyday methods and get yourself the patented Electronic Smoking Inhibiting Device. With this wonderful invention, you use a specially-modified cigarette packet hooked up to a battery and an electrode to give yourself a shock each time you take a cigarette.

Did you know that you could have "thousands of volts of electrostatic charge" in your underwear right now? Don't worry though, because help is at hand with the patented Undergarments Protecting Against Electrostatic Field Induced Tissue Degradation!

There's a wonderful patent for a Toilet Seat Volatile Gas Incinerator granted by the USPTO for dealing with the problem of "objectionable odors" in bathrooms - an incinerator sitting on your bathroom floor right next to the toilet.