Funny Computer Quotes
Funny Computer Quotes
Internet Quotes
Computer Definitions
Computer User Quotes
Computer Predictions
Technology Predictions
Apple Quotes

Computer Definitions

Bug: A cute little humorous term used to explain why the computer had your Shipping Department send 150 highly sophisticated jet-fighter servomotors, worth over $26,000 apiece, to fishermen in the Ryuku Islands, who are using them as anchors.

Dave Barry

Computer: A machine designed to make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Unknown

Database: The information you lose when your memory crashes.

Dave Barry

Graphics: The ability to make pie charts and bar graphs, which are the universal business method for making abstract concepts, such as "three," comprehensible to morons like your boss.

Dave Barry

Hardware: The parts of a computer that can be kicked.

Jeff Pesis

Hardware: Where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is.

Dave Barry

Internet: A global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a "modem" can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo.

Dave Barry

Mission Statement: A dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn.

Dave Barry

Programmer: An organism that turns coffee into software.

Unknown

Software: Where the people in your company's hardware section will tell you the problem is.

Dave Barry

Spreadsheet: A kind of program that lets you sit at your desk and ask all kinds of neat "what if?" questions and generate thousands of numbers instead of actually working.

Dave Barry

User: The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot."

Dave Barry


Next Page -->

Computer User Quotes